An Aching Heart

My heart aches for Ukraine. It's hard for me to gather my thoughts, but I'm going to try.

There is so much unrest there, so many people who are acting on injuries which have long-laid dormant. I agree; this pain and injustice up to this point should not go forgotten. I admire their protests and how (initially) they were peaceful and persuasively sincere. Now, however, they have become violent. More government-sent troops to quell the masses of protestors, rocks thrown, clubs swung, and shots fired. I desire so much to see God's Hand work in Mighty ways there for resolution.

As one of my friends, Nick, reported to me in a message online:  

       "Our citizens are being kidnapped by authorities. We still don't know where are the most of them now. Furthermore, in recent days several of activists here were shot dead by Internal Troops. The downtown looks like hell - there's smoke, fire and ashes are everywhere. We've got hundreds of activists injured and taken to hospitals. But police comes there and takes them away in unknown direction."

Picturing Independence Square in this way is painful. I had the tremendous privilege to visit Kiev, Ukraine after graduating High School. This trip played a big part in my life, in so many ways. I made many new friends, and learned that God's kingdom isn't just in little churches in Texas. His people are from everywhere, and He desires that everyone would know Him. Nick is just one of the people I met, and get to pray for now.

Here is a picture from our trip - oh lovely, rainy Kiev. You can't see much of it, but this is the day we visited Independence Square.

My heart is especially hurt when scrolling through my Facebook news feed, and seeing the stark contrast between my friends here in the States and my friends there in Kiev.

There, my friends are posting articles, videos, and statuses calling others to respond and pray. The pictures are vivid, and often violent. I hear that the government in Kiev is moving to close down all access the people have to internet. I hope I will still be able to contact my friends, and that what little voice they have now won't be snuffed out.

Here, where warm weather usually abounds, we've been posting pictures of "Snow! #feelingcold" and icy car windshields. We take pictures of footprints in the frost, artistic angles of the frozen wonderlands. Yes, it's beautiful, and it's different from the Texas heat and worth celebrating.

It's challenging to me, however, to see these posts side-by-side; blissful celebration of snow next to vivid images of burning tires, beaten people, and hurt Ukrainians. Their pictures have snow, too, but they can't enjoy it with the tumult going on around them. The cold weather only makes their protesting more trying, and more difficult.

This issue taking place in Ukraine has received very little attention. I'm not ignorant of the fact that fighting, revolutions, and general unrest are commonplace in the world. So much goes unnoticed by us as we sit bundled in our cozy, comfortable homes here in the USA. I'm guilty of this indifference, too.

Even so, going somewhere will change you. Kiev changed my life. I am honored and joyful to say this. As I watch this place that I love face such trying times with murky solutions, I feel compelled to bring it up. Please research it. (Here's a good place to start: http://www.businessinsider.com/understanding-euromaidan-2014-1)

Don't take it lightly. Believe me when I say that the lives there are actively facing this issue, and it's such a pivotal moment for the country, as well as the individuals. God could step into this time and move in big ways.

Please pray. Kiev needs the Lord, and His Kingdom, peace, and grace. It needs the love found in Christ.

Please pray for ...
... Nick- safety and judgement
... Vitaly and his family with small children - safety and strength to continue directing the UEC
... God's work that is being done in the UEC (Ukrainian Education Center), and for lives to individually be touched here by the gospel (through the Bible Studies, etc)
... the believers there - that they would be a light during this time, and would receive strength and wisdom from the Holy Spirit to point others to Christ
... for Christian leaders to rise up and direct the country
... the protests and unrest - for justice, peace, love, and mercy to abound, through Christ

Thank you. 

Indefinitely Deep and Marvelously Free

Grace. What a precious word. I grew up hearing about grace in multiple ways: in conversation, when describing beautiful sights, and regarding my friend, named “Grace.” I’m not going to lie; the word becomes quite weathered down here in the South. Undoubtedly it’s a popular word, with good reason. 

Someone once told me that grace is, in simple terms, an unmerited, undeserved gift. This made a lot of sense; I knew from my life that I wasn’t perfect, so grace coming from God was a gift I was happy to receive. Jesus “paid for my sins,” right? Totally free – and for those students out there – who doesn’t like free stuff? I jumped for the offer. 

And then … time elapsed. I don’t know about you, but oftentimes I get “cozy” with a word like grace. It becomes casual and familiar. Like an old song on a radio, we hear the word and tune out, change the station, or let our mind drift. “Oh – ‘grace’? Don’t worry God. I know what that is. No need to revisit that.” 

I am thankful because, through my coming to Texas A&M, God opened my eyes to the meaning of grace anew. I love it when He does that. You see, when I applied to A&M I had no idea how I would be paying for it. God had a plan all along, though, and he answered my family’s prayers in a big way.

Shortly after being accepted to A&M, my family was notified of a newly started tuition assistance opportunity based on my dad’s military service. Because he had served in Iraq a number of years ago, as his child I was offered a chance to study without burdening my family with loans or bills.

What a blessing! I was overwhelmed. Why me? My parents were eager that I take the aid. My older siblings, who were already through their college years, also insisted I attend A&M. In so many ways, it seemed too good to be true. And it still is.

It was through this experience of pressing need and God’s provision that He demonstrated His love to me in a fresh, deeper way.

Grace. What a precious word. 

There was nothing I did or could do to contribute to how my tuition would be paid for. It wasn’t like I could go back in time to Iraq and serve in the place of my dad. He had already paid that price. It’s already been done. Like how Jesus Christ lovingly came to earth as a human being and lived a life of love, then died for love on the cross to clean us from our hurt and rose again to life in victory over death: there’s no changing it. What’s done is done. 

My only part to play in it all was to say “yes.” 

When people ask questions about living with this freeing grace, the first problem is “well then, why be good?” I used to wrestle with this dilemma. That is, until I came to A&M on somebody else’s dime.

I remember back in 2004 when my dad was called from the Army Reserves to serve in Iraq. I remember wishing he was home, and how challenging that year was. He missed a lot of soccer games, dinners, and birthdays in our family. I especially remember the uncontainable joy I felt when running across the room to give him a hug – finally, he made it back home. 

We didn’t fully know it at that time, but through the cost and pain of that year our family grew, learned, and gained a lot. Years later, the blessing of his service still affects me today.

So, when people ask me questions like, “why do you want to be a good student? Why even try to make good grades?” my response may seem like a funny thing. But in light of the gift I’ve received, it makes total sense. Just because a gift is free, it doesn’t mean it was cheap. I know I won’t be able to repay my dad for what he did. Neither can I repay Jesus Christ for his sacrifice by striving to be good. 

Instead, I live with the gift in mind. It inspires thankfulness, humbleness, and love. So much has been done for each and every one of us. Honestly facing how big our gift is will change the way we live. The only part we play is opening up our lives to it. 

Grace. What a precious word. God is always challenging me to dwell more richly on what it means. While simple, I’m learning that it’s indefinitely deep and marvelously free.